Through the eyes of the world, Cara was a normal girl.
Through the eyes of her friends, Cara was a funny girl. Cara had great friends. They always thought she was the comedic one. She have been always laughing. Always cracking jokes. Always smiling. Through the eyes of her friends, Cara was a normal girl.
Through the eyes of her best friend, Cara was an amazing girl. Heather loved talking to her. Cara congratulated her when Heather got her first boyfriend. They walked through the mall together and laughed about small things. They chatted until 2 am at sleepovers. Through the eyes of Heather, Cara was a normal girl.
Through the eyes of her parents, Cara was a great girl. She had perfect grades. She was funny and kept to herself. She helped around the house and tried not to complain. She hung out with good friends and didn’t fight with her siblings. Through the eyes of her parents, Cara was a normal girl.
Through the eyes of Cara, the world was a living hell. She put on her mask to hide her social anxiety. She pretended to be the funny friend so that they wouldn’t see the monster inside. She almost broke, when her best friend started dating because she was afraid that she was going to be replaced. She felt so guilty when she didn’t want to hang out with her friends much because she felt stupid whenever she was with them. She hated her controlling parents who refused to send her to a therapist because it wasn’t “normal” to have mental illnesses.
Cara learned to keep her mouth shut. To hold back the frustrated tears. To cut her arms because the pain on the outside was a distraction from the pain on the inside.
Cara had so many secrets now. She would not tell anyone about her hate. About her fear. About how she was questioning her sexuality. About how she thought she had no right to feel this way.
The one night, the smiles faded. The lies were exposed. The tears fell and Cara stood at the edge of a bridge as the wind whipped her hair. She felt strangely at peace. She wasn’t falling, she was flying. As her body hit the water and she breathed her last breath she realized…
… suicide was the answer after all.
Things go wrong
Things go wrong in life,
Things go haywire,
You don’t know how to react,
You don’t know how you act,
But, I sympathize with you on your pain,
Things will soon be perfect again,
So keep your trust alive!