Somewhere in our minds, sits a judge. They watch what we do, analyze how we perform, study the effect we have on others, keep track of our success and failures- and then, finally pass a verdict.
Now, this judgment colors our entire sense of ourselves. It determines our levels of confidence and self-compassion, it lends us a sense of whether or not we are worthwhile beings – if we should exist or not. The judge is in charge of what we call our self-esteem.
If you are an overthinker, the verdict of the judge is usually grim and merciless. It can be tempting to presume that being hard on ourselves, though painful, is in the end quite helpful. It can feel like a survival strategy but there are greater dangers in an ongoing lack of sympathy for our own predicament. Despair, depression, and suicide are undoubtedly not minor risks.
Without a decent amount of self-love, the kindness of others always strikes us as misguided or fake, even abnormally insulting.
Self-love seems banded together with narcissism, selfishness, and a blindness to the needs of others. But as many psychology studies attest, self-love and compassion are key for mental health and well-being, keeping depression and anxiety at bay.
For many people the concept of self-love might conjure cheesy self-help books, it may sound like a luxury rather than a necessity or a new-age fad for those with too much time on their hands.
We for a fact recognize that self-love is undeniably a state of appreciation for oneself. As aforementioned by many, self-love is a regard for one’s own well-being and happiness. It means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Even though we understand what self-love is for the most part and know how deep-rooted it is, we are very hard on ourselves despite knowing better. For example – When our loved ones make a mistake, we often forgive them easily, but when we make a mistake, we are usually too hard on ourselves.
The first step of self-love is realizing that we are only human and it is okay to make mistakes; it is okay to lose at times; it is okay to not have the best day, week, or month.
All we need to do is love ourselves and let the negative things pass through; eventually, things will change and bad times will pass.
Here are some habits you should adopt:
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
- Don’t worry about others’ opinions.
- Remember your value doesn’t lie in how your body looks.
- Don’t be afraid to let go of toxic people.
- Trust yourself to make good decisions for yourself.